You Matter. They Matter. We Matter.

Saturday will be a year since the tornado. I remember it as if it were yesterday. We had lost power and it was quiet. There was no humming of the air conditioning. Computers were down, no phone ringing, and in the silence the noise of the alert coming across the phone. There are the subconscious things that occur. Questions that come to mind.  How could so much damage happen within the space of less than a minute? How could a breeze turn into a locomotive? How could trees that have lived for a century or more be pulled out of the ground and tossed as if they were matchsticks? And how could the house survive when it's being battered like this? People still ask about that afternoon with acute fascination. They didn't experience it so want to through the stories we share. They want me to measure how afraid I was at the time. It's not something that can be measured, nor something I want to continue to recall. Almost a year has passed and I'm still "hearing" ...

In a few days it's coming up to the 10th month anniversary of the Arlington Woods Tornado. The work is almost done; there are only 11 items on the list of things that have to get done — some big, some small — all that take time and coordination. The rebuild has become almost a full time job, trying to coordinate contractors and all the rest but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Most of the boxes have been unpacked, but there are the last 15 or so where we have to wait for broken furniture to be repaired or replaced before they can be unpacked. All this keeps me busier than ever, but also distracts me from the feelings that emerge on a regular basis that it still doesn't feel like home. Many approach me and say, "You're going to have a brand new house". No. We won't. We'll have a fixed house, some of which can't be restored so it'll be different. That's the perspective I'm trying to keep. A new start. Don't try to replace so...

First there were the smaller trees, the flowering ones and the strong and tall Maple. Soon after there was one. Then two, and finally three BIG trees planted... Up until about a week ago, looking outside through the kitchen window, was painful. We used to see lush huge trees blanketing our lawn and acting as an umbrella to the house. All sight of the road was blocked off. It was like being in the country in the city. And then September 21st, 2018 everything changed. In a matter of seconds 150 year old soaring trees were ripped out of the ground leaving a wasteland of broken, tangled trees and root balls. Eventually, after the cleanup, all that remained were stumps and huge holes in the ground, an open space for gawkers. The house, and once we moved back in our lives, were laid bare for all to see. We knew we had to do something about this because being outside was more than depressing. It was like taking a fresh hit time and time again. After many friends and neighbours rec...

It's 8 months later and we're finally back home. It's still a whirlwind of activity. We're living with boxes, but each one that I unpack brings back memories all their own. Some things to keep and others to give away to someone who might need them. All in all, it seems as if the last 8 months have been suspended in time while flying by in a blink — kind of like the tornado did. There's a lot to get used to. Everything inside has been fixed for the most part and the outside is getting there too, but it's like moving into a different home. We're still looking for things that are packed away somewhere in some box. I know we'll find them eventually. There isn't a day that goes by where I'm not coordinating with the contractors, tree people, stone people, electricians and all the rest. The moment I get into the car to get to work is when there are requests to schedule and full days are devoted to booking as many people as I can to come and do work o...

Next Thursday will 6 months since the tornado hit us. Half a year! I was speaking with someone last week who put it beautifully. He said, "For all of us life goes on, but for you, you're still living it." Exactly. Even though work is progressing, it's almost like being in a life warp more than a time warp. Sometimes, when I see someone in the neighbourhood where we're currently living, they're surprised we're shopping so far away from our home and when I tell them we're in temporary housing due to the tornado, they're taken aback because it's so long ago and how could we possibly still be out of our home? Others immediately remark at how horrible contractors are and how they "take their sweet time". Well ours does not fit that category. They are working diligently to get us back in. The outside work will happen once the snow is gone but at least at a point where we can move in and live there. I've been watching the tile ma...

Five months post tornado, on my daily drive to the house, I check to look for progress as I turn the corners into the tornado stricken area. A new roof here, finally new windows replacing the wood-covered gaps in that house on the corner there, and pods popping up in front of homes that were left way too long for the repairs to begin, showing some positive changes. The starkness and brightness where there was shade and towering trees, still hits me hard. I can't get used to having to shade my eyes from the glaring sun.  Parking and getting out of the car, especially very early in the morning or on a weekend when the trades aren't working away, I listen for familiar sounds. I heard my first bird the other day. Usually, by this time of year, we would hear a chorus of birds. Now, there was only one. There aren't trees and bushes for them to nest and live in right now. I hope they find their way back once trees are planted in the area. When I stand still, mostly what I h...

A quote I recently read captured my thoughts. "We make our world significant by the courage of our questions and the depth of our answers." — Carl Sagan One of the worst questions to ask ourselves is, "Why me?" because there is no answer for that kind of question and takes us, and keeps us, in a bad state of mind with no answer to be had. So rather than ask the "why me" kind of question, I'm asking, "How do I relate to what's happening to me right now?" I'm not always successful in answering that question but it points me in the right direction. Over the holidays and recent weeks I've watched the work on our home slow to a crawl. The weather hasn't been our friend and new issues popping up structurally has put other work on hold. As frustrated as I am, I know the builders are working hard and doing everything they can in spite of the horrible weather, delays with materials and other glitches that seem to occur on a regular...

This has been an extraordinary year, a year of extremes, of tests of endurance and mettle. Politics seem to be consuming us; glued to the news we have held our breath wondering what was going to hit us, and through it all, I believe we’ve forgotten to remember all the good we have in our lives.  That’s not to say there aren’t challenges. There will always be challenges but when we live from fear the rest seems to fade away and pale in comparison. For us, life seemed to fly by in its usual hectic pace until the last day of summer. Fall came in with a vengeance. One moment I was setting up my paints on the kitchen table getting ready for the weekend and the next, I was running for my life into the basement as a tornado hit us head on. The last 3 months of the year have gone by in a blur — pure strength of will getting me through a lot of it. My husband, our kids and friends got me through the rest. People I hadn’t seen since car pool days were walking to our home offering us a ...

New Year's Day. Everything was so still. Usually there are workmen inside and out repairing, plastering, painting, demolishing — whatever has to get done and can be done right now. We went to the house to take pictures now that it's still, to reflect on all that's been done and, well, just to visit. I am so used to be there multiple times a day that not going is almost painful. The silence is deafening especially as all I want is for the work to be done. I know. Patience. I tell myself that every day. The workmen have gone above and beyond with how hard they've been working in horrible weather conditions too. The lull gave us a chance to go through the rooms and take it all in without getting in the way. We discovered yet another damaged window and left a note with arrows showing where. Possibly another delay for other things to get done while we wait for windows. I'll know tomorrow when I speak with the builder. I am glad the workmen took the time between...

Off with the old (roof) On with the new! They're working up a storm (I know...terrible pun in the circumstances). 3 months later, still getting rid of the old and broken and replacing, repairing, rebuilding. Every day is a surprise (a good one!) and a feeling of gratitude that we have so many wonderful craftsmen working on getting us our house back. Today is the third month anniversary of the tornado. I can't believe 3 months have passed! It's amazing what occurs to me and comes to mind when I am doing something else and least expect it. A memory shared on Facebook reminding me of a post from years past, a picture that shows up with the snow-covered pines and evergreens muffling sound and surrounding the house with a stunning scene. And now there's broken pieces of trees everywhere you look, and wide open space for all to see its brokenness. We celebrated the holidays last week when the kids were all in town and we could be together. I learned a lot abou...

It's been a while since I've posted. Between life, work, being on a course in the middle of everything, running back and forth to the house and travelling for TEDWomen and other clients, it's been a non-stop roller coaster. But every time I walk into the house, whether it's a few times in a day or a few days, the difference is dramatic! Everything is wrapped up and protected — walls, floors, stairs — the works! The roof has been removed, fixed, reinforced and protected, waiting for the roofer to come and do their thing once the siding goes on. It's like a puzzle. You can't do the roof until the siding is done and you can't do the siding until the flashing is done (I think I have that right). Bottom line is, I'm glad Barry knows the order of things because it makes a huge difference. I know I mentioned this in my last post but each and every worker that's on the job is so considerate and very good at what they do! The kitchen is a mess rig...

We have a builder and I really feel as if I made a great choice with Bassi . I had the pros and cons conversation end of last week with our adjuster and assessor. This builder said he could start immediately and was large enough with staff to do it and, well, talk about hitting the floor running!  This morning I went to the house to pick up a few things and as I turned the corner, the amazing feeling of elation that hit as I saw numerous trucks lining the street with our contractor company name on it was indescribable! I drove into the driveway and had a few workers wave at me, but when I walked into the house and saw people everywhere, well — there are no words. They were packing more stuff up, protecting all surfaces and containing the areas they wanted to protect. The emotion that hit was overwhelming. Finally!  I can't begin to tell you what it felt like to know that the work is now on its way. There's a lot to do, yes, but they're doing everything they can, deali...

2 months ago today at 6:00 p.m. the news later reported that a high EF-2 tornado touched down in Arlington Woods with wind speeds reaching 220 km/h damaging several homes and trees and causing “catastrophic” damage." Actually, using the EF scale which states 218–266 km is an EF-3, I am blown away (excuse the pun) and how wind can be so strong for just seconds, wreak such havoc and then disappear! Two months ago today. In some ways it seems as if it happened years ago and in other ways, it seems like time has stood still. Every day I meet people I haven't seen since the tornado who ask, "Are you all settled into your temporary home?" or, "Was your house badly damaged?" and, the ever present question, "Were you home at the time?", it all comes back and then some. I remember it as if it just happened. The sounds that are embedded in my mind forever, that train-like noise as if you were standing just next to the tracks and it was coming right at ...

Yesterday, as I went back to the house to check on things and pick up the mail, I bumped into a young woman walking her 3 dogs and pushing her toddler in a stroller. She paused to ask how the progress on the house was going and that we were settled somewhere and OK. That's happened a lot of late. We live on the corner entrance to this part of the community and know so many people, not necessarily by name but by where they live or through their dogs. Being a dog friendly area with an off leash run nearby, it's almost a crime not to have a dog to enjoy it! As we no longer have our Toby, I get my dog fix through everyone else. A couple of weeks ago, another woman stopped her car as she was driving out of the area, parked, and came over to make sure we were OK. They had some damage to their home and would have to relocate for a short while, but shared that her husband had dementia and was blind and she didn't know what would be worse, being in a hotel that was unfamiliar...

Fireflighter clearing debris taller than he was Right now it's a waiting game — waiting for all the ducks to align before the work can even start. Scope to finalize, estimates, bids, lists upon lists, and as patience is not my strong suit, I figured I'd take the time to reflect on the gifts I've been given in the midst of it all — the gift of people who we met along the way who have our backs. I've lived in this neighbourhood for 33 years. It defines the word community. In the middle of the chaos, our neighbourhood pharmacist, Kamlesh Gandhi from Shoppers Drug Mart  went door to door telling anyone who was a customer that even if he didn't have power, if we knocked on the door, he and his staff would make sure we had our medication. The staff from the  TownePlace Suites Hotel in Kanata  where we stayed temporarily, checked in every day to see if there was anything they could do to help. One evening, when I went downstairs to make a cup of tea, I happen...

Years ago I wrote about scent-triggered memories. “Nothing is more memorable than a smell. One scent can be unexpected, momentary and fleeting, yet conjure up a childhood summer beside a lake in the mountains; another, a moonlit beach; a third, a family dinner of pot roast and sweet potatoes during a myrtle-mad August in a Midwestern town. Smells detonate softly in our memory like poignant land mines hidden under the weedy mass of years. Hit a tripwire of smell and memories explode all at once. A complex vision leaps out of the undergrowth.“ - Diane Ackerman, A Natural History of the Senses. I remember when I wrote about that way back when.  We're about to get our first snow of the season. I used to go into the back and look at the wet snow covering each pine needle, look up into the trees and breathe in the scent that reminded me of Lac Paquin. I'd try to get a good picture looking up the huge trees and would inevitably get a face full of snow as a breeze would knock the s...

I was reading some of the posts about the tornado on Facebook about the city, the Mayor and the workmen in general. As I read, my indignation increased because it wasn't at all what I personally experienced.  The city workers worked tirelessly 7 days a week. They checked in with us to see how they could help. They were there to clear some of the debris off our property and back lawn (so definitely our property) so we could get some of the main huge trees off our house. Everyone pitched in. Jean, who worked for the city for 21 years made sure the debris was cleared away. The orchestration of the trucks, bulldozers and cranes was incredible and they didn't leave until the sun went down at night. His heart was in the right place and did everything he could, period, full stop. The forestry professionals explained to me what some of the threats were and their concerns. No, they didn't want the white pines to go because of liability. To the contrary, they wanted trees to surviv...

There is something to be said about living on a corner, one which most people had to pass in order to get to other parts of Arlington Woods. Life passed by in a steady flow — people, workmen, city trucks, police, fire, medics — they all came and went at all hours of the day and into the evening. There was a lot to see; more to do than there was manpower to tackle it. Because we were on the corner, people had access to us where they didn't to those located deeper within the community, at least until the debris was cleared away. I doesn't matter how organized workers were, there was always someone disgruntled that they had to wait for help. When you're dealing with a trauma like this, it's understandable. Intellectually we all knew this but emotionally, it was hard to accept. The patience level (for the most part) of the officers protecting the area was incredible. Residents would rant and rave at them when they didn't get what they needed. Some got angry because ...