Moving Forward

In a few days it's coming up to the 10th month anniversary of the Arlington Woods Tornado. The work is almost done; there are only 11 items on the list of things that have to get done — some big, some small — all that take time and coordination. The rebuild has become almost a full time job, trying to coordinate contractors and all the rest but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Most of the boxes have been unpacked, but there are the last 15 or so where we have to wait for broken furniture to be repaired or replaced before they can be unpacked.

All this keeps me busier than ever, but also distracts me from the feelings that emerge on a regular basis that it still doesn't feel like home. Many approach me and say, "You're going to have a brand new house". No. We won't. We'll have a fixed house, some of which can't be restored so it'll be different. That's the perspective I'm trying to keep.

A new start.

Don't try to replace something that's not replaceable.

Don't look at the property through what was. Look at it through the lens of what it could be.

Many of our neighbours are having a rough time with their rebuilds or waiting to rebuild due to insurance issues. Many are struggling with PTSD so that every time there's a storm forecasted, they hold their breath and think of last September. It's incredible how many people approach me and ask if I was home during the tornado and when I say, "Yes", they go into the, "You must have been so scared!" or "How terrified were you?". They can't wait to hear all the minute details of that day. What they need to realise is that there are many people who experienced the tornado and do not want to be reminded of the fears and anxiety they felt because of it. The thrill you might get in asking for the juicy details will bring the trauma right back to them, sometimes ten-fold. Instead, ask how they're doing. Ask how the rebuild is going but don't ask them to relive how scared they were.

This is probably the second to last blog post I'll be writing on this. The last will be at the one year anniversary but in the meantime, I'm going back to why I started this blog in the first place; to highlight people and what's amazing about them.

One word comes to mind in relation to the tornado and that's 'Courage' def: mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty. 

So I'll leave you with the following to reflect on:

"The encouraging thing is that every time you meet a situation, though you may think at the time it is an impossibility and you go through the tortures of the damned, once you have met it and lived through it you find that forever after you are freer than you ever were before. If you can live through that you can live through anything. You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, `I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' The danger lies in refusing to face the fear, in not daring to come to grips with it. If you fail anywhere along the line, it will take away your confidence. You must make yourself succeed every time. You must do the thing you think you cannot do." — Eleanor Roosevelt (You Learn By Living (1960))

Here's to the courageous people of our neighbourhood!